EmpowYOURSELF: 3 Rules that enhanced my life

Guest blog
by Mollie Drew, EmpowHER Role Model

I was pondering what to write about for my first go at an EmpowHER blog when the idea of empowering yourself came to my mind. Until recently, I was struggling with the feeling that I had a lack of autonomy and independence within a few areas in my life.

Upon a change of environment, I have come to realise this was entirely circumstantial. However, the experience enabled me to understand how much happier and empowered I feel when I a) possess autonomy over my own life and b) actually take the time to be mindful in appreciating it. A simple pleasure.

Now I realise this may sound very obvious and even very silly as having autonomy over your own life should be an easy enough thing to possess (sounds like it anyway) … Nevertheless, as much as we all have choices about these things, hectic schedules, busy working and non-working days, friendships, relationships, family and other time commitments, can often leave us feeling unenthused, underwhelmed and a little bit like you’re travelling through life on autopilot. Often, we arrive at this point like a bit of a hot mess, unsure how we got here, but certain we need something to change in fear of losing the plot all together – solely speaking for myself here and just putting it out there.

I didn’t realise how long I had been feeling like this until I stopped feeling like this, or even how much better I now feel for consciously making the effort to change a few things. This ultimately has not only led to me feeling more empowered, but like I am living a more enhanced life as a result. So! Without further ado, here’s the three things I make sure I do (if nothing else), on a daily basis to help myself out.

1. Do something you love:

I am starting with this one as I think it is the most important. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, I know lots of us don’t have time to binge watch How to get away with Murder on Netflix daily, spend two hours making a roast dinner on a random Wednesday evening just because it’s our favourite food, or successfully read and absorb information from all of the books in the long awaited ‘reading pile’.

But it doesn’t have to be a big thing, it could be anything. For me it’s making sure I take 15 minutes to myself to enjoy a cup of tea. That is genuinely it and I absolutely love it. Whether I’m feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or in a perfectly good mood, sitting alone with my thoughts enjoying a cuppa is a small piece of heaven in my day to day life.

2. Help someone:

This is another personal favourite and if you can get in to the habit of doing it, it stands you in good stead for not only being a brilliant volunteer but a brilliant human being too. On the subject of human beings, we can all become a bit human doing (not human being) sometimes, as aforementioned, going through life on autopilot.

Taking a minute to ground yourself and help someone, friend or stranger, with something simple or difficult, is a positive way to ensure you feel grounded. Even if I just so much as make eye contact and smile at someone who looks a little troubled, or help someone find the right bus, I come away knowing I could have made somebody’s day a little bit brighter and that’s always a really nice, humane feeling.

3. Learn something/educate yourself or someone else:

I don’t know about any of you reading this, but I am a massive fan of podcasts.  They are easy to listen to, informative, educational and generally quite comical/fun.  I often find myself drawing to the end of an episode and realising I have learnt so much more than I anticipated, with very little effort (other than opening my ears and listening). 

A few I like to listen to are The Food Medic, Happy Place by Fearne Cotton and The Guilty Feminist.  Listening to podcasts can be easy to fit in as you can listen on the go, whilst you’re getting ready in the morning or as a bit of quiet time/wind down before you go to sleep.  

I also really enjoy reading this new trend of fiction/non-fiction blend that is populating the book charts recently. Titles such as “When breath becomes air”, “Why we sleep” and “This is going to hurt: Secret diaries of a Junior Doctor” (albeit contain an underlying health theme), but combine story and fact to make powerful, educational and enjoyable reads. 

Miraculously, not only are we learning and broadening our minds when we take the time to read books like this, but what’s at the front of our minds often translates into everyday conversations with others. Sharing your opinion or a fact you’ve learned from either source could then ignite someone else’s interest – win win! 

The quote “Knowledge is power” comes to mind.

I’m aware none of these tips are rocket science, but sometimes we forget that it is the small things that count the most and over time these really build up to make a substantial difference. I also want to make the point that of course we are all different, these things worked for me and I hope they (or a variation of them), work for you too.

Now let’s all go and get EMPOWERED!

Guest Post – Rosa Soares

Historically, women have experienced limits on anything and everything. Clothing, career choice, education, and marriage. We just celebrated the centenary of women getting the right to vote, which means Women have had this basic civil right for only one hundred years. There are a lot of women in this world who still do not have these rights.

Looking at the statistics, it is clear to see how underrepresented the female population is. I collected some jaw-dropping facts about women in leadership positions:

That raises a question: why do we have so few women leaders? Especially considering girls often seem more likely to do well in school from a very young age then boys.

One reason that is often given for women not making it all the way to the top is that they are dropping out or falling behind in school, university and work to focus on family, but that never stopped men. So why does it stop women? To understand the reason behind, we need to understand what happens when young girls are making their transition to adolescence.

In a HR class I learnt that, prior to adolescence, many girls can voice their feelings and demonstrate a strong sense of self. However, too often this transition is marked with problems surrounding lack of confidence due to the dominant culture ideals and societal pressures for girls to be beautiful, feminine and likeable.  This means little time for a girl to form her own opinions, try out new skills, or safely explore her world. They are further disadvantaged because there is more resistance from adults to listen to girls than boys, especially marginalised girls. As a result, adolescent girls often lose their voices. While for boys, adolescence means greater possibilities and a broadening world, for girls it means greater limitations. [1]

I feel that EmpowHER really makes a difference by focusing on early adolescence to enable girls growing in leadership skills and opportunities through mentoring and volunteering. Although it should begin at an early age, leadership training should be continued as they go through puberty. That way, leadership essentials are strengthened, expanded and deepened. By giving girls a chance to continue as volunteers in the Red Cross after the program and teaching them the value of non-formal education this project ensures that girls are continuously empowered. The focus isn’t in building future leaders—it’s about building female leaders for today. If successful, these qualities will follow them into their adult lives as well.

One thing I discovered through my research is that while there are countless articles and references that speak to women’s leadership in general, much of the discussion defines leadership from both a developed-country and adult-business perspective.

So, what exactly is leadership?

A simple definition is that leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal. Because of that, youth leadership models are based in strengthening young people’s sense of self, develop confidence, provide opportunities for youth to speak out, and play an important role in their communities.

Still, there is also a need to adapt the mainstream definition of what a leader looks like. The “traditional” approach to leadership does not appeal to girls and their desire to improve their world because it normally focus in very masculine features, such as dominance, decisiveness, ambition and competitiveness. This may later translate into women not being receptive to jobs which emphasise these masculine traits. This does not mean that women do not hold these qualities, but that often they don’t view themselves in these terms when they have to describe themselves. This is also true for election processes which are seen as too confrontational to a lot of women. This means, there is a need to adapt the way we see leadership and this should start in youth work. I really liked a definition that I came across during my research; the authors define youth leaders as individuals “who think for themselves, communicate their thoughts and feelings to others, and help others understand and act on their own beliefs.”[2]

This is what makes EmpowHER special, it gives young girls the chance to contact with female role models. Women they can relate to, aspire to be and that don’t seem unreachable. A leader is often perceived as a CEO, but there is so much more than that to it. Leadership should never be perceived as something hard to reach, but something that anyone is capable of. We can all be leaders in different ways.

I believe we should be teaching young girls and boys that a leader is an active learner who believes that they can make a difference in their world, and who acts individually and with others to bring about positive change.

By Rosa Soares

[1] McLean, T., C. Gilligan, and A. M. Sullivan. Between Voice and Science: Women and Girls, Race and Relationship. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1995. & Levine, R., C. Lloyd, M. Greene, and C. Grown. Girls Count: A Global Investment & Action Agenda. Washington, DC: Center for Global Development, 2008

[2] Conner, J., and K. Stroble. “Leadership Development: An Examination of Individual and Programmatic Growth.” Journal of Adolescent Research 22 (3): 275-297, 2007.


Happy Galentines Day!

For those of you not in the know, Galentines Day is held on 13th February each year and is a time to celebrate female friendships. My first introduction to Galentines Day came from Leslie Knope (played by the fabulous Amy Poehler) on Parks and Recreation. 

This Galentines Day I wanted to do something kind for the ‘Gals’ on my office floor, so I popped a period basket in our bathroom. The concept is simple, contribute sanitary products if you can and take what you need. It’s important to recognise that not everyone has access to sanitary products, and from a young age I’ve felt it’s important to have conversations about periods. The combination of periods and Galentines day has led me to write a blog post celebrating three significant women in my life who supported me to be open about periods and taught me how difficult they can be. 

My mum 

Lets start from the beginning. I can very clearly remember on the eve of my 11th birthday my mum announcing “This is the year you’ll start your period.” before saying goodnight and gently closing the door to my bedroom. I was apprehensive, but mostly excited. I felt pretty clued up about periods, I understood they sometimes hurt, how often they would come and what to do when they did thanks to my mum buying me a fantastic book that explained what might happen during puberty. Of course my mum was right (I know mum, you always are). I can still tell you the date it came, after a few days of endlessly craving and eating lollipops on 13th August 2003 my first period began.

My childhood best friend

This is a small section of the period anniversary card I sent to Cloudi. I couldn’t post a picture of the whole card as the content is far more embarrassing than I remembered.

The first thing I did was proudly inform my best friend Cloudi. A week later Cloudi’s period started. I hugged her and told her I was proud, as if I was an expert on the subject! We were fairly early bloomers but we were in it together, we spoke openly and unashamedly about our periods comparing notes on our flow, the frequency and our symptoms. We were never embarrassed about periods, we were proud. We thought periods were cool and we celebrated them. Hilariously, Cloudi still has a copy of the card I sent her to celebrate her 1 year period anniversary. Through sharing the experience of periods with close friends I felt more in tune with my own body and mood, as well as becoming better at navigating conversations about what I needed.

My Bestie 

When I was 18, I met Cassie and learnt that first periods aren’t always celebrated. Cassie has endometriosis, which means that more often than not she is in excruciating pain. (Visit https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/endometriosis/ for more information) During our friendship I’ve been furious on her behalf when she’s been constantly not heard by various doctors, or when a male manager has not offered her flexibility in her job and ‘doesn’t want to hear about her women problems’. It’s horrible to see someone you love in pain, dismissed and forced to make difficult decisions that others don’t need to worry about. Cloudi and I were patting ourselves on the backs at the appearance of our first period, when Cassie received hers she was crying, doubled over in pain, wondering what curse had been put upon her. Without doubt Cassie is the most resilient person I have ever met, despite the pain she experiences she somehow still manages to be the best youth worker I have ever had the pleasure to work alongside and an incredible friend. She has been very patient in helping me understand how endometriosis affects her, and the various complexities of it.

Image from Bloody Good Period

The stigma surrounding periods can lead to feelings of embarrassment, shame and guilt. Periods cause those who experience them to miss school, work and events. It’s important not only have an open dialogue around periods, but also understand the difficulties they can cause those who experience them. 1 in 10 women in the UK experiences endometriosis*, for many this will be undiagnosed. Similarly, an estimated 1 in 10 girls have been unable to afford to buy sanitary items**. This should encourage us to have more conversations, and further educate ourselves.
Thank you and Happy Galentines to three wondeful women who taught me a great deal about periods.

*https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/endometriosis-facts-and-figures

**https://plan-uk.org/media-centre/plan-international-uks-research-on-period-poverty-and-stigma

[Clarise – EmpowHER Manager]

Regional updates – Snapshots of EmpowHER so far…

With January well underway, and our first set of girls and young women speeding through the programme, we wanted to take a moment to update you on the great things that have been happening in EmpowHER across the country.

As the EmpowHER Youth Engagement Workers, it seems like no time at all since we were starting our new roles at the British Red Cross back in September.  But since then a lot has happened!  

We’ve kicked off the project with local youth groups throughout the North West, West Midlands, and South West, taken delivery of our fabulous ‘Call to Action’ resources, and best of all we’ve been thoroughly inspired by the energy and creativity of the young women we’ve started working with. 

Here are some snapshots of the brilliant work going on in our EmpowHER regions…

North West

The EmpowHER youth groups Greater Manchester and Lancashire have been teeming with activity in the last couple of months.  The British Red Cross Christmas Card scheme (for more details check out our previous post) caught the imaginations of several groups who all got involved, and the cards were really well-received by the members of the community they were sent to.  Lots of the girls want to continue with the spirit of this Call to Action and have offered to make cards for other occasions.

EmpowHER young women have been inspired to share life-saving first aid skills through the British Red Cross apps

Learning first aid skills has been a popular choice amongst a lot of the EmpowHER groups, with some planning to take it further and challenging themselves to get as many people as they can to download the British Red Cross First Aid apps – so people in their communities will have first aid skills as their fingertips!  One group are going to use one of their Family Days to get this life-saving message out as far as they can.

It’s been wonderful meeting with the young women and their youth workers, and to get to hear them discussing all kinds of issues.  A big focus for some has been body image, with one group taking a trip to the local shopping centre to look at how advertising and media images might affect women when they shop.

West Midlands

Christmas cards and key rings hand-made by EmpowHER girls in Birmingham

Throughout Coventry, Birmingham, and West Brom, young women and girls from EmpowHER have been getting stuck in to a host of social action activities.  Lots of the girls really enjoyed taking part in the Christmas cards scheme, and one group have been inspired by it to set up a pen-pal scheme through the British Red Cross Independent Living service.

After first aid learning sessions, EmpowHER young women are gearing up to pass their new skills on to others

Several groups have been taking part in British Red Cross first aid learning sessions, and are planning to cascade the life-saving skills they’ve learnt to others via posters and social media.  Others wanted to learn about the stigma faced by refugees, and have decided they’d like to run a donation-drive to collect everyday essentials like toiletries for their local Refugee Centre.

On top of all that – anyone popping into the British Red Cross shop in Kings Heath will have had the chance to buy hand-crafted key rings, made and donated by some of our younger EmpowHER girls. 

South West

In the South West, our secondary school EmpowHER groups have been asking the all-important question ‘What is social action?’, as well as tackling some big issues like resilience, how women are portrayed in advertising, and how that affects our body image, self-confidence, and relationships. 

EmpowHER groups in Gloucestershire have been having great conversations about emotional resilience and positive mental health

They’ve been exploring what it means to help others, and the impact that social action has on themselves, their immediate communities, and the wider world.  The passion these young women have shown so far is going to stand them in great stead as they pursue their social action activities over the next few weeks.  Some girls might be linking up with British Red Cross groups who work with female refugees and those who’ve experienced gender-based violence, whilst others have shown interest in spreading the word about first aid skills and helping the elderly and vulnerable in their communities.

Our primary school groups have also been really interested in the work the British Red Cross does with vulnerable people who experience loneliness.  They put themselves in the shoes of people who might not have loved ones to spend time with over the holidays, and responded by making dozens of fabulous Christmas cards that for the British Red Cross campaign.

We can’t wait for our next update, when we’ll be able to report on the outcomes of all these great social action projects.  Watch this space!